Introducing the Year of the Memory Tree

While rereading the book, Speaking with Nature: Awakening to the Deep Wisdom of the Earth by Sandra Ingerman and Llyn Roberts, I was reminded of a practice where a tree was adorned with ribbons to represent each prayer offered. In October, I participated in the Ontario Death Cohort event, Memory Tree, where we adorned a tree with notecards containing special memories, messages, or names for those we have lost or wish to honour as part of the Swan Song Festival. With both concepts swimming around my brain like goldfish in a bowl, I chose the thirty-ninth anniversary of my paternal grandfather’s death, and my very first experience of loss, to embark on a Memory Tree experience of my own.

The tree of choice is one I met early in the pandemic because others had adorned its base with white floral wreaths bearing white and gold banners that simply read, “Son”, “Father”, “Brother”, “Uncle”. From the cards attached, I couldn’t see the name of the man memorialized but that experience – as I, myself, took time to honour this fallen man – stayed with me as did a connection to that tree. It stands in my favourite part of the park and, as I discovered last summer, is a Linden tree which emits my [second] favourite scent when it blooms.

A perfect combination.

Yesterday, May 20, 2022, with nephrite jade in my pocket, a bag of ribbons, and my folding step stool, I walked to and through Trinity Bellwoods Park until I reached the northwest corner. After asking permission, I loosely wrapped and tied the ribbon to a strong branch then stood with Linden awhile. I placed the tiny jade in a cozy pocket she opened in her trunk and asked if she would accept more memorial ribbons throughout the year. Her agreement confirmed my commitment to a year of adding ribbons for other deceased family members ending with the fortieth anniversary of my paternal grandfather’s death and my fortieth year of grieving.

I sent a photo (included) to some family members and asked if there was anyone they wished to add to my list. Elated to receive some dates from them, I began adding entries into my calendar and planning out my opportunities to offer memorial at least once per month. Through the process I will post photos and provide insight into how the practice is unfolding. There may be strong reactions, important lessons, and unexpected challenges but I look forward to them all because the road less travelled is rarely the easiest route but it often is the most rewarding.